I have been gone for an incredibly long time, and I originally had no ambition of returning.

But, my fellow Zaadzsters, something wonderful and fantastic has happened to me in the past week.

I've discovered my purpose. I need to change this world. The waters are stirring, and I want to dive in wholeheartedly. A flame has lit within me and I'll do all I can to keep it alive.

Let me go backwards a bit. I've been of an unsound mind lately. I lost myself in my schoolwork and in this material business world that I so deeply have loathed. My wheels can't turn in all that grime; I was way out of my element and I felt exposed. I started breaking down and was hospitalized once. Now they've got me bouncing around on various meds and whatnot.

I was so concerned about making MYSELF better that I lost sight of the rest of the world. I was accustomed to having safety blinders on, so I wouldn't get distracted or traumatized.

The thing is, one can't be blind to reality. It's still there.

This past week was Pride week here at UNI. This whole thing started with a lovely evening... the GLBTAU meeting was cancelled because a certain Dr. Kesho Scott was giving a presentation on "Erasing the -isms".

Whatever she was doing, she was doing it well. I was so inspired, I decided that I wanted to get more involved with Civil Rights.  I'd already written a letter to the state congress members requesting that they pass a bill adding "sexual orientation" to their non-discrimination policy, but I wanted to do more. I don't know if it was just my time to realize it, or what, but suddenly doors opened and I was going after my ambition full throttle.

I know what I want to do. Service. Activism. Awareness. I've got so much that I want to fight for. Who else is going to fight for it?

And then it hit me... I've been a member here all along. But nothing I've done before this point was done in the interest of this burning fire in me. Before it was a, "Hey, that would be a nice thing to do". Now, it's boldface yellow letters, "Here we are!", because we are all one despite our barriers, our "isms", our labels and minorities. We all need to live and feel and GROW in that passion, experience the burning drive of that something to live for.

I've purged my inbox because the messages are all so old. Please message me again and I'll be glad to get in touch with you.

Jess

What is creation?  Generally, the two topics that come to mind are either the Bible or sex, both of which are controversial topics and neither of which I'm here to discuss.  I would like to quote, however, just a portion of the opening sentence of the bible. "In the beginning, God created".  God created.  Just as we create in our own lives, daily, albeit to a much lesser extent.  For those who seek a closer and deeper connection to a god, there it is.  Most agree that, through means magnificent or miniscule, a superior being was responsible for all of creation.  In this way, the greater being does, in fact, have a direct connection with us.

 By "creation", I don't necessarily mean a work of art, music, or the written word.  By "creation",  I am referring to every single decision and action that we as humans make.  Every time we think, we have made a thought.  Every time we speak, we have made a sound.  Every time we get a whim to rearrange the furniture in our dining rooms, we have made a change.  And every time we have entered someone's life, be it merely in passing or in an intimate relationship, we have made a difference in that person's life.  Had we not thought or spoken or turned the dining table upside down, these changes, these creations, would not have existed.

 In essence, change is creation.  When something changes, it becomes something new.  Rebirth is recreation.  Therefore, when we open ourselves up to new ideas and reach new levels of discovery, we are reborn into a new person.  This is a difficult notion to accept, because change is difficult to accept.  But how exciting!  Every time we grow, we are not just becoming different versions of our old self--we are being recreated into something that had not been before.

 To add to this crazy way of thinking, we can be influenced by others' changes, just as we can influence their changes.  We can be reborn at the touch of another.  When we take the time to let someone into our lives, we come out of the relationship for the better.  We can make it a mutual rebirth.  Or, we can force our ideas on the other without taking the time to listen and consider, thus letting the relationship (and our chance to be recreated) fizzle out.

 We have been given the instruments of creation without needing musical expertise, skill with a paintbrush, or a tantalizing way with words.  Every day we meet the opportunity to grow, create, and be created: in the grocery store, on the street corner, in the office.  Will we take the time to explore these opportunities, or will we disconnect ourselves from the greatest gift given to us--the ability to create?

 

© 2006, Jessica Lieb 

Nondescript title, but oh well.  Today I got my big ol' box of goodies in the mail from zaadz for being an ambassador. The funny thing is, I've been so out of my mind busy with graduation and my two jobs that I haven't had any free time.  But I just got so darn excited over all my stuff that I simply HAD to come back!  I came a while ago to start a new pod, but I couldn't quite figure out how.  ^^"

 

All right!~  So, I've got a lot to catch up on.  Allow me to start a delightful little conversation for you all to discuss.  I love getting insights from other people.  I'm a member of Americorps again this year, which is sort of like the American version of the Peace Corps.  My site is at Four Mounds Daycamp as a counselor again.  The whole idea of this organization is to help the community grow and to, in turn, grow as an individual through the service that is done.

 

Here's my question.  We're all here at zaadz, high on life and ready to make a difference. I don't know many people as of yet.  So, tell me!  What sort of service do you do to spark changes in the people of your community (or, if you're a really big thinker, in the area/state/region/country)?

 

Live love,

 Jess